- You will always be our little girls.
Don’t misunderstand. We know that you are growing up. We know that it has to happen, and we delight in seeing you reach all those milestones. As much as we love reliving (or maybe living for the first time) all of the aspects of growing up female, you will ALWAYS be that bright-eyed little girl with pigtails and freckles even if it is just a memory.
- We really do remember being your age, but we also know it’s different.
We know that being a teenage girl is hard. The hormones and body changes alone are enough to drive you crazy. We know that love hurts. We know that chocolate can’t always fix everything (even though it often helps). We also know that times are different. We know that you will deal with some things that we never had to. However, you need to know that some of what we remember could save you a little bit of heartache if you would just listen.
- We want to be your friend but not at the sacrifice of being your mom. That was not God’s plan.
This is a tough one. We want to listen to everything. We want you to have fun. We want to let you spread your wings and fly. We want to be your “wing woman” on all of those crazy, wild adventures. There are times though when we can’t be. God designed our relationship to create boundaries and limits that would protect you and help you grow into a young woman that will serve Him. We will not always make the right choices as your mom, but know that we are trying. We want to be there for you in everything, but that doesn’t mean giving in to everything.
- We know that we get frustrated at you for behaving just like us sometimes, but we can’t help it.
When we were your age, we swore this one would never happen. Our moms told us it would. We didn’t believe her (except for those few times when we witnessed it happening in her adult life). However, there are times when we will open our mouths and our mothers will come out. We can’t help it. It is ingrained in us just as much of what we say and do is lying dormant in you now. :) We know that we fuss at you for acting just like us sometimes. It’s our way of trying to keep you from making our mistakes. Often when we do it, it’s like an out of body experience with us trying to figure out how on earth we got to this place with this “mini me” (or 6) that acts so much like us that it’s scary sometimes.
- We think we want to hear it all, but sometimes we may not. We’re trying.
We think we want to know all that you think, feel, and do. For the sake of our love for you and our connection with you, we want you to tell us EVERYTHING. There are some things though that are a little harder to swallow than others. Tell us anyway! :) We won’t always agree with each other, but it helps us understand the young woman that you are becoming. It also helps us see the world a little differently sometimes--even when it doesn’t change our thinking.
- We are waiting and not always patiently.
Just like you, we are waiting for this awkward phase to blossom. It is something that you MUST go through. You will grow so much during this time. We know that it is developmentally appropriate for you to not be able to stand us sometimes. We know that you will push away from time to time. So...we are waiting. We are waiting for you to grow through it. We know that you will. We know that you are a wonderful half kid/half adult being that doesn’t know most days which side you want to be on. We are trying to be patient while you are sometimes a little kid who can’t even clean up after yourself or get yourself ready for school on time. We are trying to be patient while you are so grown up that your door must be shut and sometimes locked. We are waiting for you to “come back” to us full time, and we are TRYING to be patient.
- We are terrified.
Not all of us will admit this, but I can’t imagine that any of us have never been scared. We are scared that we are making mistakes--not setting enough limits, setting too many, asking too many questions, not asking enough, scared of letting you go, scared of holding too tightly. Bottom line--we are terrified! Being a parent is hard. There is something though about a female raising a female that comes with an extra measure of responsibility. After all, we are supposed to know what being female is like. Shouldn’t we know how to raise a female? The truth is sometimes we are as confused as you are. Try to love us through it and understand that being scared sometimes makes you act crazy.
- We know that we’re stupid right now, but someday we will be smart again.
Believe it or not, your grandmothers were stupid once too. Now they are some of the most intelligent women we know. At your age, you don’t see all that we know. You don’t believe that we could possibly know what we are talking about. One day, just like our moms, we will become smart again. Try to remember that when you are telling your friends how incredibly stupid we are, and remember that we really aren’t as dumb as you think now. :)
- Sometimes we need to love each other from a distance, but the distance can be hard.
We will always love you. We will always want to know how you are doing and that you are safe. We will always care about your life. However, there are times when we need our space too. Sometimes you are frustrating. Sometimes we have had all of the teenager we can handle….for a short period of time (a few hours away or spending a night with your friends). This doesn’t mean we don’t love you. It just gives us both a break so we don’t strangle each other. Even though we need the space sometimes, there will be times when we can’t bare the thought of it. We know that sometimes you need it too. It just plain makes us nervous!
- We love you so much that it hurts.
Bottom line….we love you! Sometimes it makes us laugh. Sometimes it makes us unbelievably happy and proud! Sometimes though it makes us cry. The thought of you being all grown up is a little hard to swallow. Sometimes the decisions you make or the things that you think and feel just plain hurt. Sometimes the process you must go through growing up feels awfully lonely from our end. We know you have to make your own decisions and have your own space though. Just remember...NO ONE on earth, and yes despite what you may sometimes feel we really mean NO ONE, will EVER love you an more than momma. Plain and simple...even when it hurts We. Love. You! We ALWAYS will!
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